A long time no see friend of mine ...I 'll just call her cutie here.... drop me an sms today saying why I so "dao" don't pick up her call yesterday. Actually, I saw her miss call on my HP but I wasn't in the mood to call and chat to anyone.. Well, everyone has its moment....anyway I return the call to her upon receiving the sms. We chat and have a quick catch up on each other's life and work. We discuss friends who have left their job and how are they doing and stuffs..then she told me she and her husband had patched up.
6 months ago, cutie told me her husband had an affair outside and the 3rd party ..I 'll call her spare tyre in this case ..even wanted him to divorce her. My friend by chance saw spare tire 's sms to him and confronted him. Her husband admitted it and cutie was heartbroken and didn't talk to him for days or maybe weeks I think. They had a cold war. He sort of regreted his action and beg cutie for her forgiveness..but cutie had almost given up hope on him...she just can't understand why he had an affair when everything seems fine.. but he didn't give up and bug her ..till to the extent she almost went for a ppo..think its police protection order against him so he can't harrass her.
Now she told me they are together. I was kinda surprise but felt happy that their marriage can be salvaged. She told me it takes 2 hands to clap for things to happen. Things don't happen without a reason and is especially true in relationships. Why did the guy is seeing another gal behind your back? Why did he wanna break off with you suddenly when everything seems fine? Why does the gal had a change of heart??
When a guy initiates a breakup, most gals would complain is all the guys' fault..he's a bastard...I am not siding anyone here but I just wanna say..behind every action, there is always a motivation. Maybe the gal no longer pays much attention to bf and instead expects bf 100% attention. They feel it should be the way. The guy would feel he's giving too much for little in return... come on guys needed to be "pampered" too...we do have our needs but we just don show it easily. U know..man are from mars, woman from venus? Another scenario might be the guy met a "better' gal...what do you mean by better?? in what ways is the gf inferior to the 3rd party? We can argue all day and night on this but a crucial point is , very often, the guy sees something in her that he couldn't find in his current gf...call it fatal attraction haha...
Most failed relationships boils down to inproper communication and not being open about your feelings. We tend to hide our feelings and pretend nothing has happen..but when the little things snowballed over time, it becomes a diaster! VEry often, can't do much about it and just break off... I mean a lot of things can be sorted and ironed out if both party take the trouble to address the problem early....but I think most singaporeans are too "busy" to do it...
Maybe we are simply too lazy and complacent and thought that the problem will disappear as time goes by. That's where you are wrong. I feel that a relationship is like growing a plant. Right from the start when you water the seeds, you got to take time and extra care...you got to get rid of the weeds
around it regularly and make sure it gets enough sun. When its fully grown, your job is not over yet as you need to prune the leaves, rid the worms, replace the fertilizers....imagine the amount of hard work pour in!! However, the satisfaction comes when you see its growing tall and healthy over time...you just had to admire its beauty. Its a reflection of your hard work. If you neglect it , it will wither and its just a matter of time for it to die. I am sure most ppl can relate the stages of relationships from dating to being steady and finally marriage with growing plants..
Well, I was rather happy for cutie as they have come a long way to be together. It would be a waste to let go of this marriage if knowing that its not hopeless to salvage. Cutie told me she 's partly to blame for what her husband has did... and now they will be more vigilant and open about their thoughts and feelings. ..no point playing hide and seek ..
I wish all the best for them...and ya..they just had a baby:)
