Hopes and fears....

hmmm...its been a long time since I've blog..partly as I 've been busy with work and personal stuffs. One of my family member got a major illness and needed special care and treatment everyday in the hospital...and I being the sensible one whom she can depend on, have to shoulder the responsibility of accompany her to and fro fro her treatment. Not that I am not willing though it takes up my time and effected my work. ..its partly my fault that I didn't take any early precautions. Luckily, doc rate her high chance of recovery but the trauma and suffering she undergoes is beyond words.

It gets rather depressing that I can only watch her suffer under the effects of the drugs and treatment. All I can do is giving her my company and words of encouragement. .. its like watching a fire but can't do much to extinguish it cos the well is dry. I wish I can suffer on her behalf. Everyday I see patients ..some dying, some who just got to know their conditions and others undergoing treatment...looks of shame and helplessness ..life can be so fragile. We can be so alive and kicking at one moment and yet succumb to diseases and disability the next instant. That spurs me to do what I intend to do long time ago but I just keep putting it off.

If not now, then when??

I have 3 more weeks to go for the treatment...hopefully all goes well. Meanwhile I am still waiting for my "outcome", wish my fears were unfounded so that I can proceed on.

Keeping my fingers crossed..