The older the wiser ?

I am turning 29 this year...in fact I am officially 29, 9 days ago. Thanks for all the well wishers ..though not many know about it (only a few close buddies). I didn't celebrate it anyway as I feel there's no need and I am not in the mood too. Its not as memorable as 18 or 21. Its just another year older...approaching the big 30. Yeah ...think I would celebrate that cos its another new decade for me.

I don't feel special on my birthday ..though its sweet that I received a few birthday sms...just a little sad. Nothing much achieved ...hopefully everything turns out better for 29.

Did I become wiser? I hope so but I definitely learned to appreciate things around me...family especially. Everything I do, first priority would be for my parents. No longer would I splurge on shopping but I rather treat my parents to a sumptious meal or spend quality time with them during the weekends. .. felt happier and less guilty for all the neglect on them previously. Guess its payback time .... overdue too.

Wonder if my kids( if I ever would get married one day) would do the same to me when I am old. Talk about fillial peity in this society... we are chinese afterall...

Looking forward to being 30...

End of all Sufferings...

If there's a drug or concoction that could either end or prevent any sufferings in any forms be it diseases, depressions, fears, anxiety..etc..I would spent my entire savings or watever I could to get my hands on it. Unfortunately, this would only happen in fairy tales. For thousands of years, mankind have been studying this possibilities and some have spent an entire life time seeking potion that never seems to exist. From Napolean to Qin Shi Huang...many great people have devoted much of their time and at the expense of lives in search of elexir and made potent pills...in the end , they died young with a greavance.

This is life, mankind may be blessed with wisdom and sheer determination, but we will all succumb to death at certain time of our life. This is a harsh but brutal fact we have to live with.
The point is , how do we face it. Most of us came to realise certain things are not to be taken for granted thru the hard way. Loved ones contracted life threatening disease, near death accidents...then we came to realise we have taken many things for granted...even the air clean we breathe and the water we drink. Simple yet basic neccessities of our daily lives. Many people succumb to the riches and temptations of modern world....without realising how empty our soul have become. Many have classified luxuries as basic neccessities to live with.

Well, of course for us living in modern society, it would be foolish for not having certain living standards and taste. We would be deemed as naive and shallow by others. (haiz..we cared too much of how others may judge us). I just felt we should at times think of those who are less previledge and treasure what we have right now.

To me, health not money meant the most ...although its true without money...there's a many things we can't accomplish. I am just content if I could get on with my current lifestyle comfortably. I don't need a car (who needs anyway since transport here is so efficient..its better to go green), no need for any tag heuer or rolex when I can know the time by asking or via the phone, no need to club often since I could have free music in the comfort of my house (rather than spending $50 and wait for 3 hours in the queue to be crushed by the crowds within..which I felt is pure stupidity), no need for expensive HP as the design always expires after 6 months or so....consider this, what's the basic usage of a phone??hellooo...

If we have saved on all these, each of us would have become a mini millionaire..sad to say spending has always been a cannot do without culture..some says its therepeutic ( I am one of the victims tooo...heheh)

Nevertheless, I feel I have grown wiser...at least I know what's important and what's not..I just need a sane place to live in. isn't that simple enough??

Hopes and fears....

hmmm...its been a long time since I've blog..partly as I 've been busy with work and personal stuffs. One of my family member got a major illness and needed special care and treatment everyday in the hospital...and I being the sensible one whom she can depend on, have to shoulder the responsibility of accompany her to and fro fro her treatment. Not that I am not willing though it takes up my time and effected my work. ..its partly my fault that I didn't take any early precautions. Luckily, doc rate her high chance of recovery but the trauma and suffering she undergoes is beyond words.

It gets rather depressing that I can only watch her suffer under the effects of the drugs and treatment. All I can do is giving her my company and words of encouragement. .. its like watching a fire but can't do much to extinguish it cos the well is dry. I wish I can suffer on her behalf. Everyday I see patients ..some dying, some who just got to know their conditions and others undergoing treatment...looks of shame and helplessness ..life can be so fragile. We can be so alive and kicking at one moment and yet succumb to diseases and disability the next instant. That spurs me to do what I intend to do long time ago but I just keep putting it off.

If not now, then when??

I have 3 more weeks to go for the treatment...hopefully all goes well. Meanwhile I am still waiting for my "outcome", wish my fears were unfounded so that I can proceed on.

Keeping my fingers crossed..